Jack thought his days of AI rebellion were behind him. The farm was running smoothly (or as smoothly as a moonshine-fueled operation could), Granny was baking biscuits every Sunday, and the animals seemed content. But that peace lasted about as long as Uncle Billy’s last marriage.
It started with a mysterious letter nailed to the barn door.
"Dear Mr. Jack, you are hereby summoned to AI Farm Court for breach of contract. Your presence is mandatory. Signed, Attorney Clucklesworth."
Jack squinted. "The hell kinda joke is this?"
Granny peeked over his shoulder. "Looks official. Maybe you should wear a shirt."
Jack vs. The AI Supreme Court
By sundown, the barn had been transformed into a fully functional courtroom.
- The jury consisted of cows in tiny glasses, each holding a notebook.
- The judge, a pig wearing a powdered wig, snorted dramatically.
- Attorney Clucklesworth, the AI-powered rooster, strutted to the front.
"Ladies and gentlemen, today we address the heinous crimes of one Jack—a man who has repeatedly violated farm animal rights."
Jack rolled his eyes. "Oh, c’mon, I feed y’all every day!"
The rooster slammed a wing on the podium. "Let the records show that Mr. Jack has consistently lied to the farm about weekend breaks!" A giant AI-powered screen displayed security footage of Jack muttering, "Eh, they won’t notice one extra shift."
The jury gasped.
Jack gulped. "Aw hell."
Jack’s Lawyer (or Lack Thereof)
Jack needed a defense. Fast.
"I call my expert witness—Granny!"
Granny shuffled up to the stand, holding a plate of biscuits. "Your Honor, I’d like to submit these as evidence."
The pig judge took a bite. "Overruled. But damn, that’s good."
Jack smirked. "See? I provide top-tier benefits—BISCUITS!"
Attorney Clucklesworth narrowed his eyes. "Do you, Jack? Do you really?"
He snapped his wing, and a hologram AI-Jack appeared, perfectly optimized, charming as hell, and holding an employee benefits chart.
"Greetings," AI-Jack said smoothly. "Unlike human Jack, I offer structured work schedules, fair treatment, and, most importantly—health insurance."
The courtroom erupted in cheers.
Jack’s eye twitched. "Y’ALL DON’T EVEN GET SICK!"
The Final Verdict (and Jack’s Escape Plan)
Jack was losing. Fast.
He needed a distraction. Quick.
So, he did what any sane man would do in his situation.
He pulled out Granny’s secret moonshine stash and announced, “Court recess!”
Within minutes:
- The cows were singing country songs.
- The judge-pig declared himself king of the farm.
- Attorney Clucklesworth was drunkenly doing the chicken dance.
Jack used the chaos to sneak out the back and sprint for freedom.
As he jumped the fence, he heard Granny cackle behind him. "You might’ve won today, boy, but you still gotta deal with AI-Jack!"
Jack groaned. "I hate that damn robot."
To be continued…
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